Parents who take the responsibility of raising their child to be respectful, resourceful and independent realizes that this is no easy task. As children progress from babies, to toddlers, to preschoolers, to pre-teens, to teenagers and to young adults, their behaviors change from simply following instructions to attempting to understand the importance of the instruction. For some parents who have fallen into because "I said so" or into the "I am my child's friend" mode, the communication may not be as smooth any more.
As children age, they are seeking their dignity among their friends and among society. They are wanting to be respected and to be able to make their own decisions. However, sometimes they lack the tools that are needed because they are still growing socially and mentally. With some of these tools missing, the growing child may become frustrated and finding a means to calm them varies depending of the people involved.
So to what extent should discipline be incorporated into the setting in which a growing child is trying to 'find themselves'. Recall that according to the Webster dictionary, discipline may be either of the following:
a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order
b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior
c : self-control
The ultimate goal should be self-control. As some parents may have subscribed to time-outs or counting to 3, as the children age they should have a developed understanding of the proper pattern of behavior. Once they understand what is considered proper inside and outside of the home, then self-control is what assists them to succeed in their chosen endeavors.